Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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