Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize