she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
