I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
