hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
