Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
