At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You ruined the universe
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
