we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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