they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
