i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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