We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
