Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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