dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
