Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
