Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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