Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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