What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
