Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
