I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's paint friendship bongs
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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