R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
