You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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