So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
