I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize