Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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