Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
