note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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