sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
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Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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