Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
