If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
