god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
