Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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