There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
