JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
