There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
