i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
