I wish my penis had an off switch
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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