I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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