he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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