i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
