i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize