you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
