Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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