Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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