Your tits are I can't wait for
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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