wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
