my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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