You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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