its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
