I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Less talking, more tequila
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
