I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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