I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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