So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
