the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
They took my balls.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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