Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
