she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
