She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
