its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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