Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this boner is exhausting
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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