We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
