Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
