so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
