if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
