Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
